PRODUCT MARKETING MEETING

I was standing in the little boy’s bathroom and noticed a product on the shelf. Immediately my mind leapt to the product marketing meeting that came up with the name …

Product Marketer #1 (PM1): <GROAN> “We have been at this for 9 days straight. Can’t we just settle on a name?”

Chief Marketing Big Wig (BMGW): “We will NOT accept anything but the best, and candidly I am NOT IMPRESSED”

PM #2:  “Come on, we have come up with some great product names. After all, let us put this into perspective, this is just another zinc based cream for a little kids butt in a market that is already dominated by a single brand. This is not a break out market. We have a good product here, but enough already! Pick one! There are some good ones!”

CMBW:  “Oh yah?” (Rounds on PM#2, the entire room shrinks into their chair as her eye’s go red) “WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE BEST”

(Leaping to the white board, which is filed with inane product names that have been X’d out)

CMBW: (loudly): “Perhaps Lil’ Sheep’s Butt Butter? .. Which brainiac came up with that one?”

Intern #1: (squeaks and dives under table)

CMBW: “Or how about our KING OF MARKETING NAME’S best contribution ‘Lil Lamb’s Rasherizer’???”

About-to-be-removed-as-lead-Product-Marketer-#6:  “I need to go the washroom” (exits)

CMBW: (heaving a sigh) “Sorry, sorry … I know this is  tough. We are all frustrated. So lets take a deep breath and try it one more time”

(Room inhales, exhales)

CMBW: “Lets get back to basics .. ok, brainstorming 101 … Let’s see, what does it do? What are we trying to solve? Who is our audience?”

Intern #2: “Well, it is a cream to treat a rash on a child’s bum”

PM #4: “What rhymes with bum .. dum, rum, Friday, hum …”

PM #2:  (Getting into it) “frum, tum, bum .. er .. “

Just-Might-Remain-Lead PM #6: (rolling eyes) “Goodness, if we are going to go back to this basic of a strategy, then why not expand out and look for alternative names for bum and rhyme those. Let’s see, what comes to mind .. well, anus for one”

PM #4: “ hhmmm…. tanus, nope. Sanus, not a word … Canus, nope, not a word”

CMBW: ” HEY! What was that last one? I like that .. it does not need to be a word!”

 (Look closely at the little red circle in the middle ….)

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